You can tighten your sentences by deleting clutter, tightening waffle, breaking sentences into two and putting some information into bullet points.

Delete the clutter

When you’re looking for words and phrases to delete or replace, watch out for:

  • Unnecessary prepositions, such as to, by, up, in

open up (open)
total of 12 bottles (12 bottles)

  • Meaningless phrases that are often clichés

at this point in time
at the end of the day
it is of the utmost importance

  • Unnecessary words

12 noon (noon)
assemble together (assemble )
completely destroyed (destroyed)
exact same (same)

Tighten waffle

Many writers are waffly in their first draft. You can often tighten some phrases when you’re rewriting.

with regard to (regarding, about)
in terms of (about)
in the event that (if)

Another way of tightening your writing is to turn noun phrases into verbs.

take into consideration (consider)
undertake a negotiation (negotiate)
made an observation (observed)

Break sentences into two

Break a long sentence into two or more sentences.

Stage 1 of the trial was completed at the end of June with good success rates, and stage 2 of the trial using different propagation methods and treatments is currently underway with a completion date of 31 July.

Stage 1 of the trial was completed at the end of June with good success rates. Stage 2 of the trial using different propagation methods and treatments is currently underway with a completion date of 31 July.

Put some information into bullets

Using bulleted lists can sometimes tighten your writing and improve its clarity.

Mentoring would have many advantages for Gen Y employees in that it would reduce the isolation many complain about, encourage self-reflection so they could learn from their mistakes, provide positive feedback so they would receive recognition and support them taking initiative in their work situations.

Mentoring would have many advantages for Gen Y employees, including:

• Reducing the isolation many complain about
• Encouraging self-reflection so they learn from their mistakes
• Providing positive feedback so they receive recognition
• Supporting them to take initiative in their work situations

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